Interpreting Ferret Body Language part 2
The arch and shove. Failing to get the attention of another ferret with the weasel war dance, some ferrets may engage in the arch and shove. The acting ferret arches its neck as a proud horse would, and shoves its entire body sidelong into its target. I've often interpreted this as, "Come on, I'll fight you with one hand tied behind my back."
Disinclinational Displays ("You don't want to bother me: I'm too boring.")
When a cat would rather not do whatever you suggest, it typically ignores you, hoping you'll take the hint. A horse lays back its ears, and snorts or sighs. A dog lowers its tail, looks at you as if you've ruined its entire day and tries to sidle away. A ferret has its own set of motions.
The slow motion retreat. When a ferret doesn't really want to do something, it can do a really good job of convincing you that it never heard you in the first place. However, when the invitee is another ferret, a disinclined ferret is likely to engage in the slow motion retreat.
The disinterested ferret will lower its topline (making its head and neck level with its back), then turn to either side and slowly take a few steps away, like a dull mechanical toy. A ferret will carry on this way until the ferret wanting attention either decides its comrade is too boring and directs its attention elsewhere, or pounces the poor, hapless victim (ferrets are not easily put off).
In all the years I owned various types of polecats, I never once saw the slow motion retreat. This doesn't mean polecats don't do it, however; I almost always had polecats of roughly the same age and activity level. In ferrets, I've typically seen the slow motion retreat when an old ferret is suddenly bombasted by a bully ferret.
Assertion Displays ("Do as I say and nobody gets hurt.")
Female ferrets, whether jills or sprites, are often sticklers for protocol. Some are definitely "fun challenged." Right now I have a jill, Nora, that decided a gib named Buck is her kit. Buck is not allowed to play by himself or with anyone else. He is dragged into the nest and told to stay there.
The poke. Nora has many ferret/weasel stereotypical ways of asserting her desires as our local representative of the fun police. The poke is the mildest: She pokes the back and sides of Buck's neck with her nose, rapidly and repeatedly. This doesn't hurt Buck, but it can be extremely annoying. Buck often does anything Nora wants to get her to stop.
I have also seen both ferrets and polecats get the attention of other animals, then repeatedly poke a spot on the ground. When they do this, they are drawing a line in the sand -one you dare not cross. Ferrets and polecats typically lick their noses before (and sometimes during) this "ground poke," and I get the feeling they are also laying down a scent marker at this time.
Bumper cars. "Bumper cars" has long been my term for the ferret's offensive threat. The ferret flattens itself out and body slams another ferret. A really annoyed ferret may "skunk" at this point (meaning empty its anal glands; polecats almost always skunk when doing this). During bumper cars, the mouth is usually open in the open-mouth threat posture typical of nearly all mammals, and the rib cage is almost always the target of attack.
Standing tall. This is the ferret's defensive threat. The posture is similar to that at the end of the weasel war dance. At the end of the war dance, however, even though the ferret typically has its mouth open, it makes no noise. Here, while standing tall, the ferret tilts its head down a bit, leans back on its rear (ready to scoot off) and typically hisses. Standing tall was the pole-cats' favorite disinclinational display; I rarely saw this in ferrets.
Forcible baths. Forcible baths are a favorite disciplinary gesture of mother ferrets and old, drill sergeant-type jills and sprites. These animals often assert themselves by climbing onto their targets and washing their ears with deliberate malice, sometimes while hissing. I once had a sprite with the deceptively sweet name of "Peaches" that was the Grand Mistress of the forcible bath.
The shake and drop. The last in the disinclination body language category is the shake and drop, a disciplinary gesture familiar to dog owners. Mother ferrets pick up particularly annoying kits by the neck, give them a good shake and drop them, just as a bitch does with puppies. Curiously, a puppy will often get the point if you shake and drop it. I've never known this to convey any message to a ferret other than, "Yikes, that's very annoying!"
Acquiescing/Submissive Displays
After 400 ferrets and 12 polecats, I can still count, on one hand, the times I've seen a mustelid yell, "Uncle!" Slow motion is typically used for this, but mostly I've noticed that a terrorized ferret just lies on its side, pushes at its antagonist with its front feet, and screams until its owner comes and rescues it. I never saw any type of submissive display in polecats. They would simply hiss or bark at each other until both turned away, or a fight ensued and one was able to run to safety.
Continued on the Interpreting Ferret Body Language Part 3
