--- High-Tech ---

1. 
   I cannot ride on top of the remote control car.
2. 
   I do not need the mouse pad or the wrist rest for myself. My human doesn't like having to play tug with me to get it back, only to have to buy another one because I tore it up so well.
3. 
   I do not need to pounce and chase the light on the table top scanner when it is doing its thing.
4. 
   I will never again eat the rubber wheel off of the computer mouse. (We've gone through four at this point.)
5. 
   I will never again steal my human's pager and force her to call it just to figure out where I put it, even if it does make interesting beeping noises when I chew on the buttons.
6. 
   I will not chew/pull on cable/electric cords.
7. 
   I will not go nuts and attack my human when she hits the 'pager' button on the cordless phone just because the beeping is annoying to me.
8. 
   I will not grab the cord to the mouse and run when my human is monitoring a chat.
9. 
   I will not jump out from behind my human's monitor and throw my "toss balls" at her when she holding a cup of coffee, even though she finally got a "spill proof" keyboard.
10. 
    I will not knock the phone off the hook and then step on the one-touch dial button for 911. (I saw the phone off the hook and hung it up. They called back asking if every one was okay. I was a bit embarrassed to tell them what had happened, but she seemed to understand. At least no police showed up.)
11. 
    I will not sleep inside my human's subwoofer and then freak out when he turns on his stereo.
12. 
    I will not steal the remote control, even if I do want to watch something different from what the humans have chosen.
13. 
    I will not steal the rubber tires from the remote control cars. I have my own to play with.
14. 
    I will not try to run off with the computer mouse. It may be chewy, but it is still connected to the computer.
15. 
    I will not use the speed dial feature on the phone to call my human's friends. They do not recognize me by my scratching and sniffing.
16. 
    I will not walk across a keyboard and close out a desktop application while it is running.
17. 
    I will not walk on the computer keyboard, or if I do, at least I'll try not to hit the keys that delete important files.
18. 
    It is impossible for me to steal the mouse. I will try to remember this, because my humans are never amused when they see me dangling from the edge of the computer desk.
19. 
    My human likes the caller ID box on the end table by the phone. It does not have to be on the floor, despite my compulsion saying otherwise.
20. 
    The camera is not a toy and does not need to be stored behind the couch.
21. 
    The mouse on her desk is not a real mouse and does not need to be killed.
22. 
    The remote control car is a fun toy, but I should not try not to bite the tires while they are moving.
23. 
    There is nothing fun inside the printer.
24. 
    When my human is monitoring a chat I do not need to walk over the keys. If I lie right I can hit Ctrl Alt and Delete at the same time and this makes her talk about the Sun River Bridges again.