--- Night-time ---

1. 
   At night is not the time to brawl with my brother/sister, rattling the cage and waking my humans at 2:00 a.m.
2. 
   I must not wake my human in the morning, before the alarm clock has had a chance to go off and she has had her first cup of tea. My human says that I am suicidal and if I ever try it again that I can visit St Peter at the Pearly Gates.
3. 
   I really do not need flying lessons so badly that I climb into my human's bed and bite her toes to awaken her.
4. 
   I will not "goose" the dog at 2:30 in the morning on a work night just to set off a chain of events starting with the dog that does not bark in the house unless something is wrong, causing the male human to jump out of bed thinking there is an intruder in the house, wait for him to finish searching the house, then allow him and the dog to settle down and go back to sleep just to do it all again.
5. 
   I will not bash my Coke bottle (my favourite toy) around the cage during the night, making so much noise that my human cannot sleep.
6. 
   I will not behave all day and then constantly dig my carpet in my cage all night.
7. 
   I will not bite my human's ankles in the morning to wake her up. If the caffeine in coffee was so harmful, she wouldn't drink it.
8. 
   I will not chew on my human's lips and do my war dance on his chest when he is sleeping.
9. 
   I will not climb onto my human's face while she is sleeping and pick her nose.
10. 
    I will not jump on the clock/radio setting off the alarm prematurely, this upsets my human by waking her up earlier than she intended.
11. 
    I will not sleep in the pillows and cause my human to rise 4 feet off the bed when I scream because she laid down on me.
12. 
    I will not step on the power button on the stereo at 4 a.m., especially when it is set on radio, at a rather loud volume.
13. 
    I will not stick my nose in my humans' ear while she is sleeping.
14. 
    I will not throw all of my food out of my cage, then squeak loudly for my human to feed me at night.
15. 
    I will not try to scrape all the skin off my human's leg whenever her legs are under covers.
16. 
    I will not wake up my human by dragging a half-eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich across her head in an attempt to bring it to my hidey hole and eat it.
17. 
    I will not wake up my human by yanking on her hair with my teeth.
18. 
    I will try to remember that humans don't like having me clean behind their knees in the middle of the night.
19. 
    Night is not the time to bring to moms attention I have killed an evil mouse and want her to see it by placing it on her chest or beside her head.
20. 
    Night is not the time to show Mom I know how to turn on the TV and raise the volume to 10.
21. 
    We will not pick 3 a.m. to grab the door of the cage with our teeth and shake it, trying to get out. We must remember that we have already been out to play for several hours the day before, and at that time of the night, it will get us nowhere.
22. 
    We will not pick 3 a.m. to play with the loudest, most obnoxious toy in our cage. We know that the human is trying to sleep, and this annoys her.
23. 
    When I figure out how to open our room's door in the middle of the night, going directly to my parents room to wake them up and show them I'm out cuts down on the time I get exploring the rest of the house.
24. 
    When my human is sleeping, I will not escape from my cage, use the blinds to climb up to the top of the 8 foot book shelf, and then take a flying leap onto my human's face, claws out. It is NOT a good surprise, nor is it fun for anyone hearing him scream because of said action. No one benefits from flying ferrets.
25. 
    When my human is sleeping, it is not a good time to climb under the blankets and bite.
26. 
    When my humans are sleeping, even though I look like one, I will not play 'commando' and escape from my cage to terrorize the other pets, humans, parents, telephone, or shoes.
27. 
    While my tongue will reach in to my humans ear up to the brain, I must not do this at night. It makes her jump straight up and sends me flying.