--- Vets, Illness and Medicine ---

1. 
   Having my ears checked should not take 5 people, I will try to hold still next time.
2. 
   I will not bite my human after she takes me for a check up with the vet because the exam table was cold and I didn't like it.
3. 
   I will not bite the vet when he comes to visit the dog. I will not bite anyone else the first time that I am introduced to them.
4. 
   I will not eat a rubber band which would then get stuck inside me causing me to get very ill and scaring my humans just 4 days before we were to leave for vacation. (Luckily the vet pressed on it and with lots of pedialite, ferrettone, and antibiotic (for her fever) she passed it and was strong enough to still go on the trip with us.)
5. 
   I will not get stuck in any more vases so I have to go to the vet and be freed.
6. 
   I will not make my liquid medicine into wall decorations by shaking my head when I am given it. They do not go with the rest of the decor.
7. 
   I will not piddle on the veterinary technician while she is trying to take my temperature.
8. 
   I will not poop on the vet's exam table while nobody is looking. (He had to go to the vet for diarrhea and decided to give him a sample of the perfectly normal stuff.)
9. 
   I will not scream into the stereoscope when the vet is listening to my heart, I was not being hurt and it made him jump.
10. 
    I will not scream so loudly when the vet looks at my rear end that it scares the people in the waiting room. She has not done anything to me yet. Not to mention that it hurts my human's ears.
11. 
    I will not steal a canister of raisin and eat till I get ill, then spend 3 days projectile vomiting raisins at my humans.
12. 
    I will not steal a near full bottle of Amoxy-drop, tear off the top, drag it into the closet, and drink it so that my human is scrambling for the overdose information trying to calculate how much is on the floor, how much is in me, and how much is too much. I will also not poop pink for six hours afterwards. (Leave it to me to have a ferret who loves amoxicillin)
13. 
    I will not tinkle on the veterinarian just because it seems like the right thing to do.
14. 
    I will not try to sniff the needle that I am going to get a shot with, it will poke my nose.
15. 
    I will not wipe my mouth on my human's white shirt after I am given green liquid medicine.
16. 
    I will refrain from climbing up my vet's leg or stealing her shoe while she's examining my sister. My vet likes me a lot.
17. 
    I will take liquid antibiotics. I will refrain from making my human swallow them instead by shaking my head violently and with deadly aim. My human is allergic to them. I am not.
18. 
    I will take pills, willingly and without drawing blood. I will never again chew them up and spit them out.
19. 
    When my human accidentally stands on my tail, I will not squeal so loudly that I startle her so that she jumps and break her foot again. (I have osteoporosis.)